Jealous, Jealous Again

Scott bought a freakin’ AC for his new computer. [growl!] Why does this make me jealous? And, how is it possible to be jealous of a machine? Please don’t ask. I know it’s crazy, but it’s really how I feel. I can’t explain it because it comes from the farthest depths of my soul, where I have no ability to reason or express concepts in any spoken language. Alls I know is that I’m sweatin’ like a whore in church here in NY, and when I go home to Boston to visit my sweetie on the weekends, I find that my apartment is very hot. No biggie, right, because he and I are in this together. We are a team. We’re both hot, we’re both saving energy, we’re both too poor to afford AC. Even the dogs are hot, but they still love us and isn’t it fun trying to think of creative ways to beat the heat? It all makes sense. That is, until Lil’ Chip (the punk!), Scott’s apparent favorite resident of our apartment, shows signs of overheating, and what happens? Scott, who usually can’t be motivated to buy himself food when he hasn’t eaten for a day or do laundry when he runs out of clean underwear, rushes out to the hardware store in a tizzy to purchase and install a window unit for his computer. AAaargh! I’m not gone for more than 10 hours and he has installed an AC for some other reason than to please me! Scott, your wife is hot! (Pun, freakin’ intended!) And, yes, she’s perfectly capable of taking care of herself, but when her mother board is overheating and she can’t process information well, she might blow a fuse and crash, so you better back up that hard drive, baby.

[Image from: http://www.sidewalkbubblegum.com/pctyrant.com/mainfebruary.html]