Escape from Bitch Mountain

I could have cried in my apartment and let the dog jump on me and bark loudly in my face to “calm me down.” Or, I could have gone for a run to blow off some steam. I chose option 2, and to shake things up I took the new humorous/inspiring/fast-paced mix CD that my training buddy made me. So, I’m sprinting because I’m very steamed from work hassles, and I’m grinning and laughing hysterically because each new song is a surprise from a seemingly random artist, genre, and era, wholly unrelated to the previous song. When “Eye of the Tiger” opens and three cars come to screeching halts in the crosswalk in various wonky directions blocking my way and slowing my nice pace, I think, Did Rocky have to deal with this crazy urban bullshit? When “Shot Through the Heart” blasts and I narrowly miss the giant, plummeting defecation of a large overhead bird, I think, Is this what Bon Jovi had in mind when he wrote this? When “Spare the Horse, Ride a Cowboy” twangs as the gray sky turns into a glasses-smearing, walkman-shorting, shoe-muddying, sweat-mixing downpour, I think if the Dixie Chicks covered this and made it about cowgirls would it sound misogynistic and gross? And, speaking of gross, this sidewalk is gross, and I feel gross and cold, and so much for burning off steam.

[Image from: http://www.anticoemoderno.it/Antico/Vinile.htm]