Two friends of mine, a gay couple, have decided to get pregnant. I am so excited! I love it when my friends have babies. For one thing, I am too chicken to have one myself right now, so getting a bit of vicarious motherhood from my friends’ and sister’s experience is truly precious. Of course, with family members, it makes sense to get a bit parental with a newborn that is not your own. But, even with a friend’s baby I feel keenly a sense of community ownership of the child, which hopefully is some sort of universal evolutionary programming, because otherwise it is just grounds for a restraining order. These ladies have opted for using a sperm donor--a fascinating process! They get to pick the biological father of their child by looking at height, weight, family health records, personal essays, staff impressions, SAT scores, job resume, and even a toddler picture. Looking through the 3-ring binder of their final picks of potential bio-pops, it’s hard not to get caught up in the shopping frenzy. And, they chose well. All these gents seem smart, healthy, cute, and friendly--all characteristics you’d hope for in a genetic parent. However, every so often, while pouring over the donor profiles with an obsession similar to that of a swooning teenager reading her high-school yearbook, you get a niggling sense of how, no matter which donor is chosen, you will love the resulting baby and “Aren’t all these things superficial, anyway?” But then, you think, “Well, this is the only choosing the moms get to do at this stage, so the most responsible thing is to make the best decisions they can.” Once the baby is here, there will be significantly less emphasis on the sperm donor issue, but at this stage it is hard not to be engrossed by it.
As if preparing for a baby wasn’t pricy enough, purchasing “shots” of sperm is quite expensive, further justifying the idea of being overly picky. As a straight woman who hasn’t yet explored fertility issues, I can perhaps get away with being this naïve, but who knew that sperm were such a hot commodity?! I mean, an aliquot less than a quarter teaspoon costs hundreds of dollars. Considering many people have access to significantly more than that on a regular basis (I need not go into the naughty details), it shocks me that these sperm banks can charge so much. I hope that this seemingly exorbitant price is explained by the services that accompany the costly sperm samples, such as quality screening of donors, effective insurance, legal safety nets, and health counseling for the potential parents, because otherwise, it is a racket!
[Image from: www.crystalinks.com/spermdonor.html]
No comments:
Post a Comment