Micro-Fache

I had an exciting face off with a B-school jerk today. Well, maybe I’m exaggerating my side of the conflict. I was too shocked to say anything back really, but he did sass me pretty good. Here’s how it went:

I was doing a little microfiche research as part of my teaching assistantship. I hadn’t used one of those hunks of junk since, maybe, junior high. It was pretty fun trying to figure out how to get the little spool loaded and the image aligned and in focus. I was a little self-conscious about how much noise I was making, because the machine’s motor and the spinning spool were quite loud, but whatever, I didn’t choose to locate this dinosaur in the middle of a public study area.

Anyway, I had everything lined up to make a copy, and when I popped in a quarter (highway robbery: one quarter = one copy!), nothing happened. I put another quarter in the machine and again, nothing happened. I pressed several buttons and then hit the change return button. Suddenly, it was like Las Vegas and I hit the jackpot at the slots! The machine started spitting out quarter after quarter--probably $10 worth came out in the end. Ka-chunk, ka-ching, ka-chunk, ka-ching!! It was pretty funny, so I was cracking up. Now, keep in mind, this was in a library, so there were dozens of students nearby, all studying in silence. Thus, the sound effects from my lack of lo-tech know-how were magnified by my embarrassment and their annoyance. I ran to get the librarian who came to my rescue. He banged around the inside of the machine, readjusted all my handiwork, and stole back all the quarters (damn--that was laundry money!). All the while, he was talking in a regular voice, not the stereotypical librarian whisper. I took his cue and responded at the same decibel--plus, maybe a little louder so he could hear me over his clattering repairs.

Well, of course, you can guess how this ended. Some little snotty kid stood up, glared, and sneered that couldn’t we tell that he and his comrades were all trying to read and *this* had been going on for at least 5 minutes. I wanted to snap back, “Look, it’s only for a short while and once I get this figured out, I will be out of your wormy little way. And, can’t you see that this man is the Librarian?! He is like the sheriff, and what he says goes in this town.” Fortunately, a wise little voice of reason in my head reminded me that I was about a decade too old to be trying to out-sass the undergrads, and I didn’t say anything back. But, I fumed about it all afternoon. Hah, take that!

[Image from: http://www.mixnet.biz/services/microfilm.asp]

[Image from: http://www.jokejam.com/cartoons.htm]