Gendergarten

It’s really hard not to fantasize and/or worry about what my kid is going to be like. We’ve ruled out a few screenable diseases, but she could still be sickly, mentally retarded, deformed, schizophrenic, autistic, stupid, ugly, handicapped, or allergic to sunlight (it’s called polymorphic light eruption), and the list goes on… And then there are all the things that are not related to physical or genetic problems. She might want to get an ugly tattoo on her face, devil horn implants, or those super-stretched ear lobes with a matching lip disk, or she might want to become a scientologist. She might even, horror of horrors, become a republican! I consider myself open-minded, but what will I say when it really comes down to “Why can’t I, Mom?”

What other kind of new ideas she will bring to us? In what unfathomable new ways will I be challenged by her generation’s new trends or anti-establishment values? Thinking that she might be gay or punk-rock doesn’t concern me because she has so many wonderful role-models among my friends. However, the other day I was trying to sort out how to spell her name (Matilda or Mathilde), and a friend of mine said, “Well, you never know. She could end up transgendered and want you to call her Tom.” Um…is that Thom with an “H”?

That was when I realized that it’s just not worth thinking about her future just yet. Here I am considering myself as so ahead of the curve, all ready to accept and love my gay, overly-pierced child, and then I have to sit up all night collecting my thoughts on whether I would blink if she told me she wanted a penis for her 16th birthday. I’ll have to discuss it with Scott, but I think she might have to wait until she is 18.

[Image from: http://www.dikenga.com/films/firecracker/]