Great X-mas Deflations

Scott asked the other day whether I thought that Christmas is a depressing holiday because people just have too many expectations, and they can’t help but get disappointed by something. There seems to be some unfortunate truth to this theory. As a fan of Christmas, I regret to admit this to Scott, who is only annoyed by the behemoth holiday. I think that Christmas is a problem for me because the traditions and rituals that I expect rely on the coordination of too many people and rely on me having a solid week of vacation for making things. Even when I try to condense Christmas into a few manageable factors, I still have a lengthy list. The bare minimum Christmas for me is the following:

1. Buying about four gifts and receiving at least one--keeping it to just a few means you can actually enjoy the brainstorming process of finding the perfect thing for someone.
2. Exchanging stockings with at least one person--it’s fun because this includes buying weird/cheap items, which one never gets to do because it is wasteful (e. g. yucky sushi-shaped hard candy, fake eyelashes, novelty pens), and it involves buying a variety of candies and gorging on half of them. (What else am I supposed to do with them? The stockings are never large enough.)
3. Making refrigerator cookies--this is my absolute favorite part of the holiday, especially deciding which new flavor to make this year.
4. Making a Christmas ornament--when else are hastily glued-together glitter and construction paper crafts admired by anyone after you graduate from 3rd grade?
5. Having a Christmas tree--they smell great and I love watching a sappy movie while stringing up yards and yards of popcorn and cranberry garlands.
6. Cooking something that is overly complicated, like a turkey or a stew that needs multiple hours to simmer
7. Eating a large dinner and feeling physical discomfort
8. Hanging out with family members--especially ones you don’t see very often
9. Getting a little tipsy to take the edge off of being around said family members--essential! I wish I could convince my in-laws of how important this tradition is. Sadly, they are practically tea-totelers.
10. Overindulging on eggnog with brandy--why isn’t this delightful concoction available year round?
11. Seeing multiple movies at crowded movie theaters--okay, I’ll admit that I like doing this any time of year, but Christmas is when most people will agree to do it with me.
12. Singing a couple of Christmas carols--I’ll admit that I like some of them, and I also don’t think that there are enough musical traditions for non-musicians in modern America.

Which of these did I accomplish this year? 1, 2, 6, 7, and 8. Ergo, this year was not a complete failure, but I am feeling a slight aftertaste of dissatisfaction. I might have to let some of these rituals bleed over into my New Year’s festivities to fix the problem.

[Image from: www.polymerclayexpress.com/nov2001.html]