Why Adopt?

So, I'm learning something new about adoption that I hadn't quite realized. Adoption lets you spend your money on good causes--even when you are adopting a healthy, wanted baby.

The adoption process has made me question my selfishness. At some point, an adopting parent is presented with hard options, such as: will you adopt a baby who is sick or disabled, will you adopt a baby who is older and has been neglected and abused, or will you adopt a baby who is more expensive but could be saved from a foreign and possibly abusive orphanage or foster-system? When I answer no to any of those questions, I feel a horrible sense of guilt. How committed am I to being in league with the forces of good? What if I'm not really helping anyone and instead I am just stealing away an infertile couple's chance of getting a healthy baby?

A lot of people have asked why we are adopting when we don't need to. Yes, it will be more expensive than having a biological child, but given our self-employment insurance situation, it is not by much. If you want to know, in the end this whole thing will cost us much, much less than a new car (I'm not talking a Lexus, I'm talking a Mazda)--and few would question why we might buy a new Mazda. (Okay, probably my parents who are notoriously prejudiced against buying new vehicles, hee, hee.)

Those of you who have paid for the birth of a baby know that it isn't really as cheap as it is rumored to be--even when it goes smoothly. And what do you get for that money? Hooray, you've just supported the insurance company and a dozen medical businesses--what is there to feel good about there? Certainly, it is all worth it when you really want that biological baby or when your insurance company will actually pay for most of the costs and make it affordable. But, neither of these things is true in our case. We love our biological baby, but we know we could love a baby who was not biologically connected to us too. Pregnancy sucked, but getting to experience firsthand how a life comes about is pretty cool. But I've already done that. I want to do something new.

By spending my money on adoption rather than on my own maternity and labor, I am helping an adoption agency who helps people in need. Let me tell you, this feels really good. I just got off the phone with our agent, and she does amazing things. She has helped place more than 700 babies in her career. That means that she has helped more than 700 pregnant women get through a really difficult moment in their lives. And, she has helped hundreds of couples who could not conceive experience the joys of parenthood. I have never felt better about about giving someone money. And, instead of a tote-bag or souvenir mug, I will be getting a precious little baby!