Colour Me Cowardly

As part of an application for a summer internship, I completed a writing test today for New Scientist, a prominent British science magazine that has a bureau here in Boston. The editor gave me the assignment last Friday, and I had exactly one week to find a news story, interview scientists, and write a 600 word article about it. No problem, I’ve been doing this every week or two for a couple of my classes. I thought that the biggest challenge would be making sure that I used the British spellings of words (e.g. analyse, colour, nanometer, etc.). But, apparently, when it comes to timed writing, I crack under pressure. I could barely keep it together.

For some reason, though I usually have a plethora of story ideas, I couldn’t get excited about a single one this week. I ended up reluctantly choosing a story about comets because I’ve been doing so many astronomy pieces of late that I thought I would at least feel comfortable with the topic and had a good relationship with enough sources that I wouldn’t get bogged down by a lack of information. Also, though I usually procrastinate on assignments, for this one, I started right away. Yet, even with these two things going for me, I almost bombed.

Two things happened. First, I didn’t make the connection until Thursday, that they made this announcement about comets at a comet conference in Houston, and thus, all the reliable comet scientists were unreachable because they were all, well, in Houston. (DUH!)

The other thing that happened was that I totally psyched myself out. I couldn’t stand the idea that whether or not I would get this great job all hinged on how I did with just 600 words. I couldn’t concentrate, got a terrible case of writer’s block, and basically left myself no time to edit my submission because I finished it at 5:45 pm—15 minutes before the deadline.

The sad part is that the very people who can relate to this painful drama are my competitors. All of my classmates are going through the same thing, though only one of them also had this particular writing test. I never know if they want to commiserate about how hard this is or whether they are secretly resenting me for any of my meager successes. It may be all in my head, but usually we share such warm camaraderie and lately I haven't felt it. I guess it’s odd that, until now, I’ve managed to avoid the whole cutthroat academic atmosphere that is usually inherent to graduate programs. I suppose it was unavoidable.

The good thing is that even though I didn’t do the best writing I could have, I at least finished the damn thing (barely in time), it had some sort of a point (though meager), and it fleshed out a semi-newsy topic (however unimportant). My victory: I didn’t completely embarrass myself. If for some crazy reason I do get the job, it will in spite of this writing test and not because of it.

Wild-2, My Favourite Comet of Late : )

[Image from: http://science.nasa.gov/headlines/y2004/16jan_stardust.htm]