Adventures in Potty Training

The hardest thing about potty training for me isn't the fine layer of human bodily waste that gets distributed over everything in your home--a box of Clorox wipes and a reliable washer-drier take care of that quite handily. It is the introduction of a new subject of screaming tantrums that's the kicker. There is nothing more demoralizing than arguing about the importance of this chore with a non-reasoning child. Why should we all be responsible for disposing of our own effluvia in the toilet? Wouldn't we all rather play legos uninterrupted? I cannot explain it in terms she can understand. She sees no shame in wearing a diaper full of her own excrement and the diapers-are-wasteful/environmental angle always falls flat.

I've started bribing Tillie with a single Skittle for successful achievements on the potty. This is extremely effective, as she will now invent any excuse to go to the bathroom and get this coveted reward. One drawback, however, is that the incentive program produces even more yelling fits on top of everything, because she gets only one Skittle when she is successful and she gets no Skittle when she produces no output. This is harsh, I know, but you have to be consistent.

Tillie's teacher has kindly volunteered to be the soldier in the trenches for potty training. This week, she offered to take care of everything should I just send Tillie to school in panties and five changes of clothes. Boy do I feel like I'm getting money's worth out of daycare tuition! The only downside is that I did get a bag full of five poop-covered outfits at the end of the day.