1040-I.O.U.

People say that you finally have to grow up when you have a kid. Yes, someone has to change the dirty diapers, mop up the puke, endure the screaming, and clip the little fingernails. But all this is fun parenting. The hard part for me is the money stress.

I’m a parent now, so suddenly, it is not okay to skimp on retirement savings, rack up student loans for useless degrees, experiment with not having electricity, tease the goddess of home foreclosure, be passive-aggressive with the IRS, and play Russian roulette with crappy health insurance.

The health insurance thing is rearing its ugly head once more. This time, they are acting like they will gladly insure me (hooray for no longer being pregnant!) but they just can’t decide how big a wad they want to extract from my sad little wallet. They are sizing us up, picking through our health histories, and threatening to make us pay royally for not-so-royal coverage. I want to just quit. I want my mommy—no actually, I want my HR person. Every day, I consider throwing in the towel and applying for some job, any job, one that comes with cheap and automatic health insurance, paid sick days, a regular paycheck, a sweet 401K, routine tax withholding, and the occasional free donut.

Lunchbreak!

Postprandial window gazing