Tiny Giant Squid

Difficult to capture on film, the elusive Architeuthis uses powerful and multitudinous tentacles to position its meek prey near its snapping beak, shredding its flesh with a toothy tongue. As quickly as the ferocious giant attacks, this insatiable juvenile inks and flees.

Sad Pumpkin

Someone doesn't have very much patience for her momma's holiday projects...

No Ho-Of

Our talented friends Amy and Mike just finished a renovation that will be my new home office and craft/utility room. It took 2+ months to complete it. It will probably take me that long to move into it and get it organized. I know that I am nearing middle age, because my greatest fantasy right now is taking a week off to clean and organize my house. This will never happen. That's the real time-kill of raising children. You can't just lose yourself in a project for more than the span of time it takes the little one to nap. Sigh.

If you knew what the side room that used to be Scott's office looked like before, you will be blown away. Here is a sneak peak:

Lego Sorter Extraordinaire

What did Tillie do last weekend?

Fuzzy Wuzzy Was a Plant

It turns out I have my own little stink blossom. No, I'm not talking about Tillie--how dare you think that about her!? I'm talking about this little euphorbia plant that my friend Chia gave me for my birthday last year. It surprised me by shooting out a funky bloom a couple of weeks ago. I finally got around to photographing it earlier today. I guess it was waiting for the attention, because not 2 hours later it opened to reveal an incredible blossom! And it even stinks like old meat. (Faithful readers will remember my last encounter with such a stink bud: Click here, then scroll down to the post for August 12, 2006.)

Here's what it looked like at 10 am this morning...

And again at 12 pm--just two hours later!

If you get real close you can see how furry it is...

But, don't get too close, because it smells like someone dropped a slice of ham behind the stove a few weeks ago.

Eat This

Leonardo de Tilnci

Tillie thinks that crayons are fun. They also taste good.

PS. We found the monster!

LOST: Monster

Ooops. I have been letting Tillie take her favorite toy along on walks, and we somehow lost it today. Now, Tillie isn't really old enough to have a favorite toy that breaks her heart when it has gone missing, but apparently Scott and I are. I backtracked twice--once on foot and once in the car to try and retrieve the little dude. Then, I got a strong dose of sad eyes from Scott when I finally admitted that his favorite was AWOL. I was tempted to put up missing monster signs all over the neighborhood, but instead I went on Amazon and ordered 2 more. Hopefully, I have the right product, or I'm not sure Scott will speak to me ever again. Have you seen him?

How Tillie Relaxes

Cupcake for a Cupcake

Tillie's tapas party was a great success. Many tapas were eaten. A mob of citizen journalists documented the mauling of at least one cupcake. Tillie seemed to enjoy joining the ranks of two other experienced one-year-olds. She is no longer a baby now, but a little girl who looks like a baby.

Mmmm!

Yes, they spell TILLIE : )

The crowd encourages her.

A young lady takes a tentative, yet elegant nibble:

The spread:

Friends play.

Laptops

Shortie Shortz

Tillie saw me doing a crossword puzzle the other day and grabbed the pen out of my hand. Then, she yanked the crossword from the table and, with her little grubby fist clutching it, started pressing the pen against the paper and scribbled. It was so cute! I was completely blown away because I had no idea that she was watching us use pens and paper. She also mimicked me holding my hand to my face and sneezing this afternoon. And, Scott caught her yesterday holding a battery pack up to her face and babbling as if talking on a phone. Watch out--she's watching our every move!

What's a four letter word for "adorable"?

No wait, I know this one...

Okay...next is 29 Across...

Cupholder

Little Monkey

UPDATE: My apologies, I just looked up what the former title of this post meant--absolutely NOT what I meant to invoke!!! I am an idiot.

One Year Ago...

...I was huge.

My goodness, Tillie turns 1 in just two weeks. We went to a new friend's 1st birthday a couple of weeks ago. He didn't like his cupcake, poor thing. Why is it so much fun for a bunch of adults to stand in a circle around a freaked out little kid staring at him in great anticipation while he tentatively tries his first bite of birthday cake? I mean, that is a lot of pressure on a little guy. We love cake. We dream of having the chance to taste cake for the first time all over again. We think, if only it were possible...no, instead I'll just experience it vicariously through this young child. Yes, let's feed this kid cake and just savor his reaction. It will be the closest we can ever get to our beloved youth. I'm starting Tillie on a daily regime of muffins in preparation for this big event. She will LOVE her cake damnit!

Sofia

Tillie's nanny brings her own daughter, Sofia, who is 4 months old. She is so cute! She is kind of creaming Tillie in the hair department, but when I point this out to Tillie, she reminds me that Sofia can't even roll over on her own yet. Good point--Tillie is still the cutest. I like it that she gets to play with another child every day. I think daycare will be neat for this reason. She will get to have her own relationships with peers. I hear that when they get to be about 3, it gets quite dramatic all the little mini soap operas that take place at daycare.

An Apple Pie a Day...

How do you get rid of many apples? You bake many pies. Last weekend, Amy and I made 9 full-size pies and 5 mini pies. We have given most of them away, but we are still gobbling through the remaining 3. Our nightly ritual of "pie-s-cream" is going to destroy my recent diet success, but it will be worth every moment!

Speaking of diets, it took only 6 months of Weight Watchers, but I finally lost my pregnancy weight, plus an additional 10 pounds! I feel like me again. Okay, I kind of cheated on the last pound--it came off due to the evil food poisoning of last week. I discovered what all anorexics and bulimics have known for decades, 4 days of not eating is an effective way to lose 4 pounds. I can't recommend it though. I felt like crap. Obviously, due to the number of pies I have personally polished off this week, I'm back to my normal self. Shew!

Notweilers

A horrible bout of food poisoning has shed some light on the backyard neighbor with the barking dogs. She seems to have been able to reign them in since that horrible weekend when they barked for two whole nights, so we have been sleeping peacefully. However, we found out that the rumors were false. She has 5 dogs, not 4, and none of them are rotweilers. They are mutts of various sorts. Also, the reason she keeps them locked out at night is that she also has 4 cats. Yikes, too many animals! Anyway, while I was spending a few hours in the bathroom dealing with the aforementioned poisoning (Ug, I'm contemplating death as an escape from the misery.), I overheard her in an hour-long, curse-ridden rant about how her "d*** neighbors" should leave her "poor dogs" alone and keep their "m***** f****** cats" out of her yard, etc. I couldn't hear any other voices, so either her interlocutor's voice was too low to make it through my bathroom walls or she was just ranting like a crazy lady on her back porch. The obscenely large number of animals that she corrals along with her can't-tell-if-it's-stupid-or-southern accent makes me suspicious that there was no one there.

Meanwhile, Tillie is still cute:

Peewee Applause

Tillie is so close to saying her first words. She can understand so many, having just added to her repertoire of nouns she can point to: "tummy" "foot" and "face" -- and verbs she can do: "clap". I'm so proud! Just this week it seems that she is mimicking the first syllables of some of the words we are saying, but I'm not sure. I think she is only weeks away from her first word. What will it be?

Produce Explosion

Our guests Mike and Amy got back from Mike's parents' farm and brought with them more produce than you can shake a stick of cane sugar at. There are four large boxes of apples, two bags of grapes, about 20 zucchini, 20 cucumbers, 20 yellow squash, a bag of elder berries, a box of potatoes, a box of walnuts, a bag of green beans, and Tillie's and my favorite--a giant cantaloupe (basketball size). Now, there are many people who would not think of this as a great challenge that must be met head on, armed with butter, a wooden spoon, and your favorite apron, but hey, I'm that kind of lady. So far in just one week, we have made apple pie, baked apples, apple cobbler, chocolate-caramel apples slices, apple cookies, apple bread, apple butter dip, stuffed zucchini, zucchini-squash-and-corn chowder, squash latkes, grape gin, cantaloupe-tinis, chocolate covered grapes, bread-and-butter pickles, and dill pickles...and we are NOT EVEN HALF WAY through the produce!!!

Pickling Action

Apple Boxes

Grape Gin and Cantaloupe-tinis

And what is Tillie up to during all of this? Well, mostly yelling: